Duality, chaos and more..

Have you ever day dreamed about why you took up this major? About the times when you were absolutely clueless about which major to choose, or completely confused between two majors that have their own merits? And are still clueless on why you took it? Have you ever wondered (all day long) about a specific girl/guy thinking if he/she is the one for you, but then you don't know them fully, but more importantly you don't know you, to take a decision and are too afraid to decide? Then what do you do, let the time decide, As always? Or, fall in love with someone only to eventually find out this is not what you signed up for, and still not knowing what should you do?

Have you ever had to complete a lot of equally important tasks decked up, but you cannot prioritize among them that you end up doing none of these. Have you ever felt like all your friends are getting all the opportunities, but you're still trying to work your asses off also trying to decide between which of the entrance examinations you should take? Have you ever had to just keep the vehicle moving only to keep asking every couple of months the same question of "Is this what you want to do?". Do you keep doubting the career choice, that you took after careful deliberation? Do you finally figure out an interest that you should probably be pursuing to the fullest, but then you know practically that's not the best thing to do now and then kill it slowly? Do you get inspired and motivated to finally get things moving and change your life for good, and then you know, like any adult, start watching Netflix or spend on Facebook the rest of the day?

One moment you want to be the change in the society and break all the stigma and do all that matters to you and believe in bringing change, yet you cannot bring in the change, because this is the way you've been brought up and this is where you belong and this is who you're, is that you? Are you still blaming someone else for your decisions? Or are you too busy keeping head into your iPads playing Temple Run Clash of Clans to avoid any contemplation? Do you constantly try to impress others and also keep questioning your intent to do so?

Well, I could keep going, but then you get it. Yes, some people call it Mid-Life crisis (Or quarter-life crisis, whatever). Some people call it indecisiveness. Some call it duality. Some call it the world being unfair for them. Some call it depression. But then I figured, this chaos right here is life. Of course, we watch a lot of movies and expect the same. Life, though, doesn't happen to be a movie plot to have everything figured out, as much as we wish for. (Pro tip: It helps to try to believe you've all the shit figured out and are happy with the current setting.) Well, a very few (pretty much non existent, I'm sure) of you are probably fortunate to not go through these - Lucky, you!

Okay, point of this post? Still searching for it, just like we all are, for the purpose of our lives. But then one thing that I've known for sure is the feeling that I get when I try new things, when I still want to try something in spite of having failed at it a number of times (Habit formation, new languages, working out),when I love, when I read, when I laugh everyday. And, that feeling is worth all the chaos. After all, not all of us are born to become Albert Einstein. 

Rant of an engineer

I've always loved conversations that lead to debates and eventually make me think. One such recent conversation was about the pros and cons of growing up in India versus abroad. Now, I've not been to the States *yet*, but I do have a fair insight about the life there, thanks to my friends and Quora. Of all the things, one quality or rather privilege that kids at the abroad are entitled to, is the possibility of doing what one likes, which nurtures individuality. On the other hand here in India, needless to say most of you know of the 'situation' here, as the famous tweet goes – “people first become engineers and then figure out what they want to become”. 

 As much as I'd like to blame the parents and society, they're not the only ones to be blamed, for, it is economics that comes foremost here before any decision after all.

Being told what to do, every single time, by the parents or uncles/ aunts or even neighbors, a kid grows up under peer pressure, being spoon-fed, to be an engineer that is, at least most of them. So if at all the passions survives in him, he rebels to become what he always wanted to be, but only after losing half of it in all the drama. And then there are a few who actually find their passion in between all the boring classes of engineering. But then they'd have come so far, so they just go along with the flow; prepare for competitive exams without knowing why. Of course, there's not much else they can do in this country. The sad state here is that, even after all the movies or whatever, when the parents understand and stop controlling him, stop wanting him to become what they couldn't be, in most of the cases he would not be able to decide for himself by then. For, after all this time of spoon-feeding, the creative kid in him is long dead.

Let’s just look at a typical kid growing up in abroad. As soon as he’s 18, he leaves the home to find his life. He starts by being independent, working petty jobs and feeding his passion. And he just goes on to develop this and eventually become successful. Only the real-passionate ones go to college and then to University for post graduate in anything technical. No wonder most of them reach the heights, but not after many failures. Now this, this exactly, gives him more confidence, more individuality in life, something that Indians unfortunately seem to lack.

In India, while one section of the population is struggling to get an education and there is now an emphasis on Right to Education and all, we should also pause and take a look at the section of kids who do not have the right to not study. Now, this might sound crazy. People with learning disability, people with no slightest interest in “studies”, are all forced into studies and eventually engineering rather than actually doing what they are passionate about. One should be allowed to nurture the talent that is rather unique to him. How many times have we seen or experienced small kids being gagged with too much homework and cut down on all the play-time, killing the foundation for the creativity for life. While there is an innate emphasis on education in our culture, there is also this thing wrong in our system. Of course change is not very much possible now with little opportunities in India. But while we try to eradicate poverty through education, we should also remember to nurture some individuality, liberty to think, and become what one wants, even if it means some failures initially. According to me, THIS is true development. 

 (Too much to ask for? If the mindsets change, trust me, there's definitely a chance.)

Image courtesy: Every damn meme page on FB. It's gone viral because almost everyone can relate to.

When Occupation occupies you..

Not long ago, in the school diaries, applications, report cards, we were asked to fill this field, what was called ' Father's occupation'. It is indeed a good thing that the word 'occupation' is not-so-often used these days, for what a remainder it could be of how much occupied we are.. Atleast people like me, who have joined their jobs, one can safely say how much occupied we are , suddenly.

For those familiar with the American style of living ( which, I am sure many of you are lot more aware than I am, given the fact that I am still living in India. So what I know is from the movies, series and my friends,abroad ) people happened to have what they like and do, and a day-job, which pays for the living most of the time. And then there are others, who only do what they love. Coming to the Indian style of living, or rather Indian style of working, well almost all the time, unless you are lucky or prudent and bold enough to make the choice, the occupation occupies you.

Image Credits: cwaunion 

For people like me, who have to travel a lot to the workplace, and then work, for real, it becomes really difficult to keep up with things and people. Weekend is all that you got, for anything and everything. Adding to it, if you are totally lazy like me, you know the number of friends are gonna erode eventually*. 

Lucky are the ones who are bachelors. Well I can only extrapolate the graph of life of people who get married and the responsibilities and the stress that follows. Hence, it is indeed not a surprise that people end up losing their passion or their hobbies eventually become once-a-hobby. And guess who accompanies - Monotony!

Ofcourse there are always exceptions, including some people I know, who have been able to keep up with their interests, hobbies and keep up with their friends, even as full grown adults - A salute to them. 

Well, we have all read/heard the work-life balance debates, essays, when it comes to our own life, the question of survival or the Joie de vivre,  we all know which one to choose, dont we?

* That's another topic I'd love to write about, too. So if you re reading this, await for the post, coming up soon.