Duality, chaos and more..

Have you ever day dreamed about why you took up this major? About the times when you were absolutely clueless about which major to choose, or completely confused between two majors that have their own merits? And are still clueless on why you took it? Have you ever wondered (all day long) about a specific girl/guy thinking if he/she is the one for you, but then you don't know them fully, but more importantly you don't know you, to take a decision and are too afraid to decide? Then what do you do, let the time decide, As always? Or, fall in love with someone only to eventually find out this is not what you signed up for, and still not knowing what should you do?

Have you ever had to complete a lot of equally important tasks decked up, but you cannot prioritize among them that you end up doing none of these. Have you ever felt like all your friends are getting all the opportunities, but you're still trying to work your asses off also trying to decide between which of the entrance examinations you should take? Have you ever had to just keep the vehicle moving only to keep asking every couple of months the same question of "Is this what you want to do?". Do you keep doubting the career choice, that you took after careful deliberation? Do you finally figure out an interest that you should probably be pursuing to the fullest, but then you know practically that's not the best thing to do now and then kill it slowly? Do you get inspired and motivated to finally get things moving and change your life for good, and then you know, like any adult, start watching Netflix or spend on Facebook the rest of the day?

One moment you want to be the change in the society and break all the stigma and do all that matters to you and believe in bringing change, yet you cannot bring in the change, because this is the way you've been brought up and this is where you belong and this is who you're, is that you? Are you still blaming someone else for your decisions? Or are you too busy keeping head into your iPads playing Temple Run Clash of Clans to avoid any contemplation? Do you constantly try to impress others and also keep questioning your intent to do so?

Well, I could keep going, but then you get it. Yes, some people call it Mid-Life crisis (Or quarter-life crisis, whatever). Some people call it indecisiveness. Some call it duality. Some call it the world being unfair for them. Some call it depression. But then I figured, this chaos right here is life. Of course, we watch a lot of movies and expect the same. Life, though, doesn't happen to be a movie plot to have everything figured out, as much as we wish for. (Pro tip: It helps to try to believe you've all the shit figured out and are happy with the current setting.) Well, a very few (pretty much non existent, I'm sure) of you are probably fortunate to not go through these - Lucky, you!

Okay, point of this post? Still searching for it, just like we all are, for the purpose of our lives. But then one thing that I've known for sure is the feeling that I get when I try new things, when I still want to try something in spite of having failed at it a number of times (Habit formation, new languages, working out),when I love, when I read, when I laugh everyday. And, that feeling is worth all the chaos. After all, not all of us are born to become Albert Einstein.